Fun, Sun, Sand, and Surf-A Whole New Turf!

In the beginning...
...Daddy drove for 13 out of 16 hours.
We arrived in Florida at 5:30 in the morning, slept until twelve thirty p.m., and walked around like zombies all day. But it was worth it. Here are the smiles to prove it.
No, they aren't related at all!
Our first adventure of the week
The Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola, Florida
All cousin's minus Sophia, the baby
And of course the kids with Dad.
What a neat place!!!

The Blue Angels

Ah, there is Sophia.
Ian and Zach having the time of their lives!!
Daddy's Girl!
Sarah is such a cute little rugrat isn't she?
It was a great day!

You'll never guess our next adventure!
Oh, did the white sand and waves give it away?
And it was an adventure playing in the surf and getting thrown by the waves!
Mikayla was not strong enough to go past her ankles so she played in the sand most of the time.
But the boys were having the time of their life!

Can you tell?
Still in the sand!
And still in the water.
Zach's waiting for the next big one.
Isaac caught it and wiped out.

Drying off with some bubbles.
Mikayla...
...and Zach get in on the act...
...while Austin chases and pops as many as he can.
Another wonderful day!!

Today was our lazy day.
We found a pier to picnic on and snap some pictures while we're at it.
The Coast Gaurd ship nearby
The view from the pier was pretty
Half way through our big adventure and there's more to come. Stay tuned for upcoming events. The kids want to move here-or at least some do. Do they realize how boring Florida would be if we did move here? I am beginning to miss Wisconsin, only slightly. I am sure we'll be good and ready for home when the time comes. Maybe we can bring some Florida home in a bottle!

The Negative Life

Something in me just cannot do it! I want to, deep inside somewhere unfindable, but I can't.

I continue to change-daily, yet stay the same. What I want to do I just cannot. I look at otheres who have and do accomplish what I seem to be unable to do, and I wonder why. It's God right-that's got to be it, huh? But I know Him too, and I ask Him continuosly to make things better and to make me what I should be.

I just can't.

Maybe I just don't want to because it's easier to just let it go. But I will have innumerable regrets if I do that-do I even care. I thought I did, but I am not so sure anymore. I could never ever walk away from my family-I truly do love them, but I am not what I should be for them. And I cannot be. Maybe I will never be.

I know it seems like a bad attitude-maybe it is. I get so sick of reading these blogs, or books, or articles or whatever it may be, where the person is doing what I cannot. I think it may be jealousy. Maybe that's it. But they work hard for what they have I am sure, and if I want what they have, I have to work hard too.

But I can't.

Or maybe I just don't want to. Is anybody out there here in this place with me. Lately it seems like I am the only one and it is a very lonely place!!

If you are please tell me. If you aren't and you want to give me advice-please don't! At least not yet. I cannot handle it right now!

And of course, there is probably nobody out there because I have lost touch with the net world.

What else is there to say? I can't go anywhere else but up from here I suppose!

News

I just wanted to let you all know I may not be blogging anymore for a while. We may be getting rid of the internet. So if you don't see me around-that is the reason. I will miss blogging, and I may be able to blog once in a while at the library or something, but it won't be very often. Just thought you might want to know. See you around.

Longing For Meadows, But Learning to Love the Jungle.

Sitting on the couch, looking through some pages of a birthday book my aunt made with pictures, I have a bittersweet feeling looming over me. As my eyes move over each face, sometimes many faces, different thoughts come to my mind: "I remember when...", "Oh, they look like...", "I wish I could have...", "If only...", etc., etc., etc.

Time is not a friend. I realize that my life has passed me by without the opportunities I wish I could have had, but I know that I am who I am because of that. I can only think, "If only...", for so long, and I have to move on.

Though I cannot have the past, today and tomorrow is laid out in front of me-the path I have yet to walk. I do not want to walk through the jungle of chaos and danger that my parents dragged their children through. I love them, for they did the best they could to get us through that jungle, but we did not leave unscarred by it.

I look at some of the families in my family tree, and I wish my mom and dad could have followed them on their path. Either they walked in lush green meadows, or they chopped their way through their own jungle, clearing a safe path with sweat and love for those who came behind.

I am in the jungle. I chop and chop sometimes, but I get tired and start dragging my own children through the brush. Honestly, I would much rather walk through those meadows, but I don't know how to get there. Maybe we all walk through the jungle, but some of us do a better job at hewing out a clear path for those we love so they can walk in peace as they grow before they reach their own jungle.

Whatever the case, I don't want my kids to come out terribly scarred. They may have a few scrapes here and there, be don't we all? That's life.

Looking at those pictures, I wonder how you did it, or are doing it. I feel like that will never be me. Or maybe I am just reading too far into the happiness that seems to come from you all. We did not have that growing up-that sense of security, belonging, and love that seems to ooze from the lives of some of those in our rather large family. I too realize, though, that others may have been dragged through the jungle just like me, and maybe you know what I mean.

In the end, though I cannot go back and have something I missed, I want to move forward and give that to MY family. I want my kids to feel a part of this great big wonderful thing called the Rehfeldts, and also the smaller branch off of that tree, the Molanders.

Sometimes, no matter how hard I try to shut out the past, to let go of the hurts and to move on to the life I want for my own family, my heart finds some reason not to. But, the sweet part is being able to hold on to so many wonderful things in my life, in our family, and among friends. My prayer every day, every moment, is that I remember all of those good things from God, and forget the scars. Though scars do not dissappear, they do fade, and some people come to forget they have them, even the ones that are clearly seen. I guess, that only comes when they accept the fact that they are scarred.

So, I am scarred, but I am blessed. I am thankful for the blessings I have been showered with in my life, and I hope you are too! You can't be part of the Rehfeldt family and not feel at least a little blessed, can you?

It's Almost Here

We start school on Monday and I am not ready. I have had so much on my plate the last two weeks that I have not been able to sit down and gather my ideas for the school year. I already made my lesson plan sheets and wrote down my ideas for the year, but I have not yet been able to purchase the workbooks we need. I hope to get that done today. I have my ideas in my head of how I want things to be, but I just do not feel mentally prepared for the year. I have been mentally preparing for half of the summer, but I am feeling a bit nervous.

The only thing that really worries me is discipline, self-discipline and the discipline of my kids. I have let things go with them, and I know how tough it is going to be to get my kids sitting and listening and working again. I am excited about teaching my two younger to read, and working on my second graders reading. I am excited about the schedule that I have made, and the determination I have to do a better job keeping it this year. I just don't feel confident about how my children will handle things. To me, my children's behavior last year was the biggest obstacle that we faced, and we will face it this year. Teaching them is easy and can be fun, but they do not always cooperate and I am not very good at disciplining them.

My goal this year is to teach my kids to love to learn. At this point, they hate "doing school"! And that is my fault because I was not thrilled about homeschooling last year. That all has to change for the year ahead of us and right now I feel that I am headed in the right direction.

So, as Monday approaches, I have a few days to get my head in the game, and be ready for our first day of school. I'll be ready, because I have to be.

What if you believed from the time you were a young child that the world was flat. Everyone knew that the world was flat and it was taught in school, and your parents told you it was so.

Then one day someone comes along and tells you that what you believed all your life is wrong. The world is actually round.

What do you do?

A. Deny it because everyone you know says the world is flat and you believe them.
B. Walk away from what you have been taught all of your life to be the truth, and agree wholeheartedly with him.
C. Find out why he believes that and then draw a conclusion.

If you choose A, well, what do you possibly lose? Not much, you certainly won't lose any friends or family, and what you don't know can't hurt you, right?

If you choose B, you're a fool!

If you choose C, you have an open mind to knowing the truth, but with caution that you could be led astray.

And, if you come to a conclusion that the world is round, well, what will everyone else do?
1. Call you a heretic?
2. Think you are mixed up and have been led astray-that you are a fool?
3. Laugh at you?
4. Condemn you?
5. Consider you certifiable?
6. Ignore you?
7. Debate with you?
8. Try to change your mind?
9. Disown you? or disassociate with you?
10. Etc., etc., etc.

There may be a few who actually listen to what you have to say, and even fewer that will truly believe you.

So, is following the truth an easy road to travel?

Ask those who thought the world was round and lived in a world full of people who absolutely knew that the world was flat.

Ask those who thought the earth revolved around the sun and lived in a world full of people who absolutely knew that the sun revolved around the earth.

I am wandering in a place much like those men of old who thought differently than the world and were persecuted at times. For what? For believing the truth.

I am not yet able to share what I have learned. I want to. I will eventually, but there are some other things that I am facing that I must go through first.

I do know that God is in control-and because of that, I cannot nor will I worry or fear.

By the way, in case you were wondering about the men who thought the world was round. They were right!

Pictures-just because.

Zach in the pool. He's a fish!

Austin settling in for the trip to the cabin.

Isaac and Mikayla at the train museum near the cabin.
























Zach and Austin next to them. They were standing under the big wheels loggers used to transport timber back in the day.