I am going to humor some and try to write a post. To be honest, there are a thousand things that I could most likely write about, however I either lack interest in the subject or I fear it would simply be too deep a subject to limit to the size of a blog.
No really, I think I am a mess in my head. It's just one big pile of blah, and even though I am trying to eek out a post I do not think I am succeeding at saying anything worthy of the written word.
I have stayed away from writing for a long time now. I used to have so much more to say when I was lamenting about a dozen or more things in my life, but I have been trying not to complain or dwell on negative things. Hence, I do not have much to write about seeing that I have drawn upon those emotions of discontent so many times in the past and no longer wish to draw on them.
I have never been one to enjoy writing about the daily tasks of life like doing laundry or cooking dinner, which some have notably succeeded in entertaining, or encouraging others with. I would rather ask questions like, "What is the meaning of life?" and take a crack at answering them. But I have found that the deeper conversations I have tried to have fall flat because of the lack of interest in them. And as soon as I turn to cooking, cleaning, and raising kids, there it is. Everyone shows up and we have a conversation. Maybe because that is where we find the answers to the big questions.
As a matter of fact, as I write I am thinking, "I should really be doing some cleaning and laundry right now!!!" But I don't want to. I want to try to write this post.
Maybe we all write posts for different reasons. But I think one of the biggest for me is to give others more insight as to who I am. I often go inward, to the deeper parts of me and wonder if anyone else out there gets me, or the fact that I even have these deeper recesses. Sometimes they are lonely places, but maybe we all have these deep lonely places in us that we wish would be filled with the warmth of friendship and understanding.
Probably the biggest reason why I blog is the hope that something I have to say could affect someone so intimately as to make them think, or know that they are not alone in their feelings and there is nothing in this life that has not touched another as it has touched themselves. I believe the word is empathy-the power to enter into the feelings or spirit of others.
Blogging, for me, did not start out that way. I began to blog years ago in an attempt to help myself work out the lonely and often depressing feelings I had as a young mom raising and homeschooling four children, while having no clue what she was doing. I was trying to get a clue.
Now, I find it harder to blog because I do not need the therapuetic affects of the blog, but would rather help others. That's a taller order, even though I realize that sharing my struggles can help others.
Well, I believe that I have reached the point of a sufficient blog. What a way to end this post, huh? I think it started off way better than it ended. But I am out of steam and I really do need to get something worthwhile done today!! Not that blogging isn't worth something. What, I am still not sure-at least not my blogging. I bid you, Good Day!
4 comments:
Now that was a blog!! I am proud of you grasshopper!! ;)
I think all of us have those deep lonely places. Some are deeper or more transparent then others.
For me, the only person who can fill those deep lonely places is Jesus. He is the one who brings them to light and fills me up.
He is the one who I turn to when all else seems lost or like no one will understand my thoughts or feelings.
Blog for you Beth. If you are just honest with who you are and what you are going through, you will in turn help others.
A question comes to mind... what is your spiritual gift? excited to see how God is going to use all this to bless you beyond measure...not to mention those around you.
Love you, dear one.
Grasshopper?? Is that a good thing? :) Thanks for the reminder Julie.
Jess, I think it is mercy. Thanks for the encouragement!
Love ya both.
Oh, Beth, I feel the way you do sometimes. Does anybody else think about deep things? I wonder that often. I hafta' remind myself, too, though, that going too deep for too long is a stress that the body and mind can't take. There's a balance, of which, I am still trying to find myself. I am by nature very serious and I have to watch that. I get the part too, when you write about pleasant things or post beautiful pictures of your kids...everybody is like, yippee(which they should be), but very few have anything to say when times are rough or you want to get deep, especially spiritually speaking. One time I asked the question on facebook what everybody's favorite movie is and I must have had 20 or so people comment. But you want to go deep and you don't get much except from those who are just that, very emphathetic. I love you, Beth. Thanks for the post.
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