I am completely frustrated!

I know that God is in control, that is my peace! Is anyone else out there paying attention to what is going on in our country right now. I know I cannot worry about it, but I do think about my kids and where they will be in twenty years. What is America going to look like for them?? I do realize that things have been heading in the wrong direction for many many years, going back all the way to Roosevelt. BUT, this current administration and congress is bound and determined to change everything at break neck speed. Many people may not even care or pay any attention until it finally hurts them where it matters, in their pocketbooks, or in their freedoms. It may not happen today, and it may not happen tomorrow, but ten years from now when my children are trying to make a life for themselves, are they going to be free to do that easily? Or are they going to have obstacles at every turn along the way?

I am currently reading a book by Mark Levine called Liberty and Tyranny , and I couldn't put it down last night. It is so very explanatory about what our country is and where we come from and where we are going.

I have always been a person who just wants to live my life, and vote when the time comes. But now, it just seems like I have been so complacent about how important all of our elections are local, state and federal. My heart has been sad for our country and for what our forefathers meant for it to be. I believe there are so many uninformed and misinformed people out there that if they just understood and knew what the constitution says and means and what our country is truly all about they would not be drinking the koolaid!

Okay, I am off my soapbox. Sorry, I am just so frustrated.

The middle of the night, AGAIN!

Life has been so busy. And even though it has been a good busy, it makes me crazy to be so busy. Maybe partly because I have a little bit of trouble with organization in my life. See, I went to bed a long time ago, but here I am at my computer, trying to make myself sleepy. I was lying in bed, and my body was completely obedient about going to sleep, but my brain was not. Too many thoughts about all the things I have to remember to keep track of this week. So I finally decided to come downstairs and write it all down-alot of it was already on the calendar, but I double checked and added some things here and there.

What do you do to remember? One of the biggest devices of terror in my life is my forgetfulness. Yes I said terror. I have forgotten important things SO many times, and you know that big lump you get in your throat and wave of nausea that comes over you when you are nervous? That's how I feel when I forget something. I feel sorry for those who get to put up with me.

But seriously-I know I am not the only one who forgets-so-How do YOU remember things? Got any great ideas? Maybe it is just hard work that does it-making a lot of conscious effort to remember the important things-not just important to me, but also what's important to others.

I have been trying harder, but I still forget. And to those of you that may have suffered from MY forgetfulness, it is with deepest sincerity that I say, "I'm sorry!". And now I must bid you farewell. My brain is beginning to agree with my body, thank goodness!

Late Night Lamingtons

It started about four months ago. Every week Obi would have to do four pages and add them to his book-

At the end of the laborious four months of researching, searching for pictures, and drawing, the fifth grade has a Nation Fair all day in their classroom.

Isaac had to finish up his poster for the fair last night.

He procrastinated on this one, but it turned out okay in the end.

And what did MOM get to do until 2 in the morning?? Hmmm... Well, it's a fair, and what do we do at a fair? EAT! For this particular fair, the cuisine was a sampling of traditional food from your country.

Wow, who made THAT mess? Cut me some slack I was in a hurry!:-) I started around 8:00. Who knew what a nightmare these little treats could be and Obi is not the only one who procrastinated!

The finished product. They are called Lamingtons after Charles Wallace Baillie, Lord Lamington, governer of Queensland, who wore some kind of hat that resembled the square cakes. Ironically, he hated the things, and supposedly it was something created by the cook as a creative way to use stale or burnt sponge cake. These little cakes were served at various ceremonial functions In Queensland, and over time became a favorite of the Aussies, served with tea in the afternoon. Schools and other groups even use them for school fundraisers, called Lamigton drives, because of their popularity. They're actually pretty yummy-but NEVER AGAIN. What a night!

Even though Obi did not stay up nearly as late as I did, he was up much later than his normal bed time and we were both VERY tired!

But, in the end, it was all worth it. Obi is such a great kid, and so smart. And just look at those adorable freckles!:-) I thoroughly enjoyed working on this project with him. And if I never see another chocolate dipped, coconut-covered, sponge cake square again, that would be just fine with me!!

Our Lazy Easter Sunday

Comedy and Tragedy!

Is this comedy enough for you? He'll kill me when he is fifteen!
Don't tell him. Then again, he DID let me take the picture, and he thought it was hilarious.



And now the tragedy...

Why the sunglasses?

Can you see it???

c

The Big Bad Ugly Black Eye!!

This picture doesn't even do it justice!!!!!

Isaac was riding his bike, did a wheely, and the bike went backwards on top of him and pounded him in the eye. I was worried about the bone under his eye, but it was okay, thank the Lord. He is healing nicely, and the bruise is turning green, but the swelling is gone. Poor guy-everyone wants to know what happened. His answer, "I fought the bike, and the bike won!"

HRRMPH!!

Hmmmm... Went to the zoo today-had a wonderful time, but are there any pictures?? Nooooo! Why? Because some moron didn't check the battery before she went to the zoo. But for the sake of anonimity SHE will remain nameless.

Someone really needs to get their act together-I'm tellin ya! Some people!!

The Monster in My Mind

I am jealous. Do you ever get jealous? And no matter how hard I try not to be, it just creeps up on me like the boogey man and "BOO", it's right there. Before I know it I am looking around and wishing I had this or was that. I hate it. Why can't I just be content with what I already have, and make the best of what I don't like?

It's my demon I suppose, this thing that plagues me, but I can tell you this much about it: It's a thief. It steals your joy. It takes your eyes off of the precious and valuable that God has given you, and makes you wish you had the other person's _________________. You fill in the blank. It could be anything. I'll tell you what it is for me, as hard as this is. Home. My home. Someone else's beautiful home. Someone else's decorative touch, or newly painted room, or freshly carpeted floor.

There are so many things I have found myself being jealous of, and tonight, I did it again. I looked around thinking, "Oh, that's so pretty, I wish MY __________ was that pretty. Oh and I love this _____________, I so wish I had something like that." (Ugh-will she never learn?)

I've often heard this cliche, "The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem." Well, people, I am admitting that I have a problem. I am a jealousaholic. Is there a cure?

I just want to have joy. I want to take joy in what's mine, since taking joy in what's YOURS just sounds ridiculous. I want to make the best of what I have with little or no money-that can be hard I suppose. I want to be thankful for what I have even if it's not as nice as yours.

I feel like singing, "WE SHALL OVERCOME!" Shall we?? Oh, I certainly hope so-because its a miserable world that jealousy lives in and I DON'T want to live there!!!! Join me in the fight against jealousy today. Say NO to jealousy! No, no, no no...is it working yet...no, no,no...keep shouting...no, no, no...Oh this is silly.

God, could you, would you, make me content? Whatever it takes...I hate saying that...but I do not want to be jealous of others. It's a painful, absurd way to live life. Wait, am I really living MY life if I am jealous? Nope, uh-uh, not a chance. I am just fantasizing about what if...well, you can go there but I have been there tonight and I don't want to go back.

I love my scratched up linoleum kitchen floor, and my once white, now gray carpet, my front porch that slants forward, and my leaky basement, because this is where I live. It's where the muddy little feet run, and the dirty little hands play. It's where we eat our meals around the dining room table, and read books every night. It could be marble floors, new plush carpeting, big open sunroom, and fully finished non-leaky basement. But without the little feet and hands-does it really matter all that much?

Join me in my fight. The battle of the ages against the big ugly green monster. I feel like David-but you know, he DID beat Goliath in the end, right. Im just sayin'.

Spring Is In the Air!!

I really want to get my camara going again. Today was a beautiful day for a bike ride-so we went for a ride to the park, but I have no pictures, because I am slowly getting pics developed, and deleting things off of my camera. I Have gotten so backed up on there, but hopefully I can get it where I want it.

I savored the sun today, and I drank the air. I absolutely love spring. I love dropping everything I am doing and taking my kids on a trip through the neighborhood on our bikes, or a walk to the park to play. I would rather do that any day than clean or work around the house wouldn't you?

I really enjoy my kids. I always have, but we had a rough patch for a very long time with lots of anger, fighting, disrespect, and unpleasant experiences. Despite that, I look at my kids, and their abilities and I marvel at what God is doing in these children He has given me. They are growing up, and it hits me hard sometimes when I look at my seven year old and see this big boy who used to be my little guy. Even sissy who is only six amazez me. She is always lending mom a hand just because she wants to-and I love it!

My ten year old will be eleven in a week. He is such a young man, and I am so proud of him!!The hands on the clock just move too fast!! Zach is nine, and even though he has always been so immature for his age, he is learning. He has got such a big heart, and he's hilarious!

Our family is changing. The dynamic is changing. All my children can read now, and ride bikes, and play games that adults play. It's a new world for us. It's actually a pretty fun world. We laugh alot and we can joke with each other.

The Lord has really been helping me to look at my children in a different way than I used to. They can be anything that God wants them to be. I tend to worry about every little thing that they do wrong-DON'T do it!! They are going to mess up ALOT. Kids just do. I have been learning to give them room to fail and learn from their mistakes. That can be hard, but especially as they get older, they have to learn the natural consequences that come from bad choices. Of course some of those consequences are a result of the discipline mom and dad have to issue, but it's a consequence nonetheless.

My prayer is that my joy remains. I love having my kids home for spring break and I wish I could handle homeschooling all of them. I love to listen to them play, and watch them when they are creating or imagining. It's busy of course, from the time we all get up, till bedtime-there is always something to do, whether its chores, schoolwork, playing, or helping mom-we are busy. But it was a good busy today!

God is good. Through it all-He is just good. I pray that my kids learn this and understand that no matter what happens in our lives, for better or worse, God is just so good. And He is in it all.

God does Amazing Things!

Today was a day of remembering. Brad and I took Zachary to his psych evaluation this morning with Dr. Hoffman. As we drove down to Rockford, I just kept thinking that I know that Zachary is all healed or mostly. He has been doing so well and come so far-no one would ever know that he was in a coma 5 months earlier.

When we got to the office, we met the Dr. right away, and I knew that Zach was being tested but after being in her office for about twenty minutes she said his tests would take most of the day. Zachary's jaw dropped-he was not excited about this turn of events, but he adjusted and went with it. I felt so bad because I was not able to prepare him for this since I had not realized it would take so long.

At the end of the office discussion, we walked out into the hallway. I said my good-byes to Zach and encouraged him to do his best, assuring him it would turn out fine. I watched him walk down the long hallway and was a little bit anxious-not worried, just thinking about how he would do. Deep down I felt peace, knowing he would do well.

I was right! At the end of the day, Zachary was either average or above average and even superior in some areas. There was only one minor area to work on and it had to do with his handwriting fine motor skills.

My heart immediately acknowledged the fact that the very night the accident happened, the phones were ringing and people were praying for our family, and for the Swanson family. Zach's life was in the hands of God and everyone was praying that he'd make it and be okay. And God said yes. Not only did God bring Zach back to us, but He healed him rather quickly compared to many others who suffer the same kind of injury. I do believe that the Dr. was pleasantly surprised that Zachary had come so far in such a short time. She made me understand the miracle that our son was, and I praise God for what he has done.

NO TITLE!!!!!

I wish I could get the words in my head to stop swirling like a tornado and obey me. They are very disobedient little creatures. All I ask is that they line up nicely in a single file line on the screen as I type them, but they are very stubborn. They don't want to come out of my head. I think they are having too much fun driving me mad. I have had this problem before, and I just have to wait until some swell of emotion washes them from my brain down through my fingertips and onto the keyboard. Bear with me. My thoughts are experiencing technical difficulties! And the time it takes to force them out just isn't abundant at the moment. So instead, you get to enjoy the blabber that is rolling off my fingertips at lightning speed. And sorry, no pictures either. I know, bummer, huh? Sorry to dissapoint! All two of you. Hee hee.

God is just awesome-why can't I always see that??